Anything Can Help You
Life is oftentimes counterintuitive. In fact, it is often counterintuitive.
We can be so afraid of losing people that we push them away to protect ourselves from the pain. We can be so anxious about failing at something that we create the situations that would create failure. It’s like the concept of jealousy, when someone is jealous and they become more controlling and worried about losing their partner, it can create the opposite response of what they want. The more controlling and anxious they get about their partner, the more often it drives the partner farther and farther away.
If they had taken a totally different approach from the beginning it would have potentially made a very big difference in the direction of their relationship. For example, upon feeling emotions of jealousy, if they were able to go directly to their partner and explain that they feel afraid of losing them and they feel uncomfortable about someone they are talking to or interacting with, it could make a big difference. Hopefully that partner would be understanding, but either way, being open and vulnerable and honest with yourself and what you need is very important for understanding a better action or direction to take.
This is similar to issues with addiction. We may have started using alcohol or drugs to medicate an emotion we are experiencing such as anxiety or depression, but this did not get at the issue we were trying to resolve. It did not really ‘fix’ what was going on, it only covered it up or made it seem more bearable.
The answer, like the response, is counterintuitive.
The answer is to recognize things head on and acknowledge what we can do about the situation. Don’t bury your head in the sand!
If there is nothing we can do to make a change, if we feel we are stuck… find ways to be at peace with the situation and change what can be changed.
If you need help, seek out others who can give you advice and input on what it is you can change and how to best confront the issues you are facing. There is often another way to see an issue than you may be potentially viewing it.
When in doubt there is always the serenity prayer…
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
From all of us at Silver Lining Recovery, we wish you so much support with anything and everything you are struggling with! If you need any help we are here for you! We offer several different post-rehab services, including SMART Recovery, 12-Step programs, and a variety of counseling services as well as our affordable outpatient services for those who feel they have a substance use disorder or addiction. Knowing that there is always help will hopefully encourage you or a loved one to get the necessary services and support needed to live a full and healthy life in sobriety. Call Silver Lining Recovery today at (866) 918-5547 to get started.